Previously on Warehouse 13...
You want juice or are you a milk person?
You know what I'd really like? Oh, I do indeed,
but falling off the wagon may not be the best option.
I haven't seen you around before. You new?
Eight years, actually.
Just a minute. What is this?
Sometimes he forgets we answer to a higher authority.
What higher authority?
The Regents?
These are the Regents? This waitress is a Regent?
Who would you have control the Warehouse?
Kings? Popes? Politicians?
There'd be nothing left of it.
Mr. Valda, you tell me right to my face.
Either fire me or kill me.
Or let me do my job.
A missing walking stick.
A stick that causes earthquakes.
Really?
Say it. It doesn't mean that this is it.
It kills you that I figured out one first!
Just because the robberies involved... Earthquakes.
What some people reported as earthquakes. Ah.
And there happens to be a piece missing
from a nearby exhibit about an earthquake...
The largest one ever felt in England,
a country not known for its earthquakes, by the way.
It doesn't mean that this is the artifact.
Chin up, Watson, old bean.
We can't all be as brilliant as Sherlock Lattimer.
Hey, Pete? Yes?
The case is intact and the lock's not picked.
So, what? Inside job?
Peruse their payroll?
After you.
Ooh. Victory lap!
Will you get over yourself?
What's that, you say?
Grow up.
Ooh! Ooh!
News flash, stop.
Bering to admit she was wrong, stop.
Pigs standing by for maiden flight. Stop!
You do see the "Do Not Touch" signs everywhere.
New favorite job perk?
Officially allowed to ignore velvet ropes.
I'm on this side, on this side, on this side...
Hey, Pete.
The sign for the stick was still there.
Okay?
Well, the museum hasn't reported a theft.
They haven't noticed it's gone.
He puts it back... When he's not using it.
Oh! Myka, look out!
You okay?
Yeah. Okay.
That way? I'm on it.
Secret Service. One of your security guards is getting away with a stolen...
You! Hold it! I don't have time for this.
Mrs. Frederic... There's no time to explain.
This is of the utmost secrecy. You cannot tell Arthur or even Agent Bering.
Okay.
I want you to throw this mission and let the artifact get away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Mrs. Frederic, what is going on?
That's an order, Mr. Lattimer. I'll contact you later. Go!
Pete!
Pete, where's the guard?
I don't know.
I lost him.
I thought he was out here, but he's gone.
I guess you can spare some time for us now.
Yeah, they're Secret Service.
We're not going to press charges.
I thought fishing you out of custody would be like old times, Lattimer.
But you and your friend are both fully clothed.
Did they catch you too early or too late?
Well, I've matured since then.
I get arrested in my pants all the time now.
I'm guessing you two have met.
Kate Logan, Chicago field office.
The cops called us to check out your story.
And you heard my name and wanted to see me.
You know, I could just vouch for you
and we could leave him at the Early Man exhibit.
Awesome. I like her.
Mmm.
That's a good one.
I didn't know you had transferred to Chicago.
I didn't know you transferred to super secret South Dakota.
Is that a promotion or a punishment?
Well, it depends on the day. So far, today is good.
Anyway, I've got to get back to my case.
Ah, yes. Stolen walking stick.
Def-Con 4.
Well, it's part of my new look.
You know, top hat, monocle.
Big stick. Mr. Peanut!
Very sexy.
So, uh, you showing up here means I should
call you, right?
Call, don't call. Same as always.
Play date over? Not if I can help it.
Thief's name is Lenny Malone.
He has a sheet. Two petty thefts,
one assault, and now he's in the wind.
We were in D.C. Together, we used to...
It's clear
what you used to.
I'm more interested in what happened here last night.
Nothing.
I just lost him.
You two out of the clutches of the Lakefield Police Department?
Yes, thanks to Pete's old girlfriend.
Yeah, I probably don't want to know what that means.
But consider that the frying pan.
Get back here and brace yourselves for the fire.
Hey.
So what's this about a fire?
Agents Bering and Lattimer.
Back from losing another artifact?
Once again, involving local police
and unauthorized members of the Secret Service.
We didn't lose an artifact.
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait... And I don't know who you are.
Guys.
This is Benedict Valda.
He's one of the Regents.
Our Regents? The Regents?
No, Pete. The South Dakota College Board of Regents, yes, the Regents.
That's unusual, right? An in-person visit from a Regent?
Was unusual for the first 30 years that I worked here,
but lately, I guess we just can't be trusted to do our jobs.
Mr. Valda could have done all this by courier,
not brought my agents back from the field.
That's quite enough, Agent Nielsen.
I brought these agents back
due to their repeated inability
to protect this organization from unwanted scrutiny.
The Regents have decided to become more hands-on.
Moving forward, you can expect me to be...
All up in our dust traps?
You, in particular, Miss Donovan,
should consider yourself on notice.
Your inclusion in this group at all is a matter of lively debate.
Don't waste any time on me. I'm just tech support.
Claudia... Yes, you are.
Uh-uh!
I got this.
Remember what I said.
I can input that. I'll handle it.
I want you two back in Illinois. Find that stick.
Artie! Artie!
What's going on? Why can't I see that?
Is there something about me on there?
I cannot believe a Regent was just here.
And he's pissed at us!
This is probably your fault.
I never thought I'd be in a rush
to get back to Lakefield, Illinois.
Pete, you coming?
Uh, yeah. I just... I got a thing first.
I'm allowed to have a thing! Okay.
Strange time to have a thing.
Whatever.
So what's with all the cloak and dagger?
Keeping secrets from my team really isn't my thing.
Get in.
Some of the Regents are concerned about a pattern.
Artifacts being used for criminal gain.
Like Malone and the walking stick.
But that's not so unusual.
It is if it's someone on the inside.
We have every reason to believe that there's a breach.
Possibly at a high level.
We need your help in finding out who.
So, if the Regents asked me to throw the case,
why was Valda tearing me a new one?
That visit was arranged some time ago.
Any changes might have alerted our culprit.
Whoa, whoa, okay, wait.
You can't be thinking that the breach is Artie or Myka?
Have you forgotten recent events?
Could you doubt that anyone could be compromised?
Okay, so then, why trust me?
Because keeping secrets from your team really isn't your thing,
which makes you the least likely suspect.
Have I chosen poorly?
No, ma'am.
If our hunch is correct,
Malone's supplier will try to approach him
for his cut of the take.
Go to work as usual, but keep your eye on Malone.
If you need to contact me, you break the window at the end.
This is strictly between you and me, understood?
Good.
Hey, uh,
so are we like friends now?
Right, see you.
What are you hiding from me, Artie?
Schmancy new security measures. I am impressed.
But did we remember all temp copies, mirror drives, and image backups?
Silly wabbit.
Too easy.
Donovan Contingencies?
Cool, I'm the star of a Ludlum novel.
Look, it's encrypted! That's so cute.
So you think the cops already tossed it?
No, this looks like Malone grabbed some clothes and ran.
Power's off.
Uh... Are you trying to,
you know, pump the electricity up to the light or...
No.
Jeez. God, Myka... Well, is there something down there?
No, it's nothing.
I'm going to go check his trash. You keep poking around here.
All right? Yeah, okay.
Valda.
Pete? Pete, where are you?
Is someone there?
Pete? I got him! I got Malone!
Come on!
Wait a minute, wait...
Wait a minute, I Tesla-ed the guy.
He was... He was out cold.
Well, was he meeting someone? Yeah, he was...
I mean, no.
I didn't see anybody else.
You're sure it was Valda?
1,000%.
Did he see you? I don't know.
But now we know it's not Artie or Myka,
so let's bring them in on this.
Listen carefully.
The Regents have kill authority on anyone
deemed a threat to the Warehouse.
Telling the others will only put them in harm's way.
Then let's bring this guy down. Now.
Moving too quickly with someone like Valda
will put a bullet in your head.
What we need is evidence.
Malone and the walking stick. And I need for you to find him first
before the police or Agent Bering.
I'll contact those Regents I know I can trust.
Patience, Mr. Lattimer.
Well, I'm not too good with patience.
Challenge yourself.
Hey. Hey.
Where have you been?
I had a car thing.
Wow, you've been busy.
This is everything from Malone's apartment.
You know, something doesn't add up.
Okay, I'm him, right?
I have
the walking stick, I mean, why do I go back to the apartment?
Did I stash something else that I need?
Is that the walking stick?
No, Pete, this is a snack. Ah.
Myka? Yeah.
Did you check the last number dialed?
No, I didn't. That's a good idea.
Um, the phone jack's over there.
Pines Place Motel.
If he wasn't meeting anyone else in the apartment, then why was he there?
Uh, you got me.
Is there anything? Nope.
Last number dialed was, uh, takeout.
I'm going to go check his trash. You keep poking around here.
I just... I got a thing first. I'm allowed to have a thing.
I lost him.
You want to talk about this?
This is why I said leave it alone.
Then maybe you shouldn't have put it on the computer.
That's like me leaving a cake out with a note on it that says, "Not for Artie."
That was one time. And I...
Don't you have a boyfriend that you could be irritating instead of me?
He dumped me.
Oh. I didn't know. You want me to call him? Artie!
This is a list of ways to kill me.
They're not
all killing you. There's other options here.
Erase her memory? That's comparatively humane.
Drop her in a non-English speaking country?
See, they're just trying to stall for time.
They know you're going to find your way back...
That doesn't make me feel any better.
Don't you think that there's a file like this on all of us?
Don't you know that there's one with my name on it?
And are you okay with that?
Claudia,
You are a valued member of this team and no one is going to erase your memory
or dispose of your body in a vat of acid.
Is that on here, too?
Oh, my God.
Is that... Number 43, on the back.
Artie?
I think Pete's drinking again.
What? No.
What? No, no, no, what?
We're just asking because we're worried about you.
Yeah, bro, we're your friends. Tell me this is some kind of a...
A weird, uncomfortable surprise party.
Pete, you've been acting strange this whole case.
You've been lying, you've been making up excuses to be alone.
Look, your hands are shaking.
For crying out loud! You...
I'm sorry.
You guys, this is sweet, really, but you're wrong. Okay?
You're wrong. In eight years,
I haven't even had a virgin daiquiri.
Then what?
I'm not drinking.
That was quick.
Secrets are a naughty thing, Peter.
You listen up, Valda.
Look behind the tree in front of you.
Valda... You two have been busy little bees.
She'll never see your signal, by the way. Where is she?
She's alive. I have a man watching her
through the scope of a rifle.
I need you to tie up one loose end for me.
Oh, yeah? And what's that?
Mr. Malone, where is he?
No, no, first you call your man off Mrs. Frederic.
I'm afraid not. When I call you again, be ready to deliver Malone.
How do I know you won't kill her anyway?
You're in no position to quibble, Peter.
I could kill your whole team.
No, hey, the others don't know anything!
Okay? You leave them out of this!
That's entirely up to you.
Are we clear? Here's what's clear, pal.
You tell me I have something you want and then you threaten my friends.
So you are going down.
Game on.
Game on!
He's not at the B&B. His cell goes straight to voicemail.
He's taking himself off the grid.
He left this.
Agent Kate Logan.
Pete Lattimer.
Damn it. Okay, uh,
look, tell her I need an address for a Benedict Valda. V-A-L-D-A.
Thanks.
Lakefield.
Pines Place Motel.
Hey, buddy boy. You remember me?
I'm the guy from the museum you tried to kill with the battle axe.
Now how do I find Benedict Valda?
Valda! Who?
The guy you met in the alley.
Or should I hand you over to him like he wants?
I don't know any Valda.
Okay, all right, look, I took the stick from the exhibit,
I admit it! You're working together.
I saw you paying him.
Uh, you're crazy, man.
No, no, okay!
Where is it?
It's under the bed! Right under the bed!
Hey. Hey!
Hey, handsome. What can I get you?
You feeling all right?
Yeah, it's just a long night, that's all.
Thank God, hey.
Coffee?
Maybe you should stick with decaf. That's a good idea.
Two, please.
Coming up.
Okay, first. That message was the least romantic booty call ever.
And what is with this Valda character?
Why? Why, did something happen?
The guy doesn't exist on paper.
But ever since I poked,
my place was trashed, my phone's been bugged, and someone's been tailing me.
When I find that S.O.B. I am going to...
Don't worry, I'm a big girl.
But someone's definitely sending a message.
Either that or you've gone way too far making up an excuse to see me.
No. It isn't me.
You're still hot, but not trash your place just to get a date hot.
It's happened. I'm sure.
Okay, then,
I think it's time you let me in.
What's the division you're working for?
Well, let's just say I'm in containment
of threats. To the President?
To the planet.
Okay, okay, I know, I know, I know it sounds like I'm wearing
a tinfoil hat to keep the aliens from stealing my thoughts,
but Kate, I'm serious.
I just... I can't tell you what I do.
Thanks.
So, Valda. How does he fit in?
He's way up the food chain. And bad, like Keyser Soze bad. I don't think this is decaf.
Okay. How are you supposed to find him?
When he came to visit us,
he had a driver and a limo, so they had to get gas, right?
Maybe he used a credit card or, um, you know,
got themselves on camera.
You're going to check every gas station, restaurant, and rest stop
for 100 miles around?
Where I work, there's only like six.
Still a lot of legwork.
Look, if your partner and everyone you worked with
had their lives threatened, wouldn't you do it?
Yeah.
Thanks for dragging me into your fun world.
I thought you were happy to see me.
I kind of liked you better when you were
helpless, pants-less Pete.
Well, the pants are imminently removable.
What?
I honestly had no idea this was where my day was headed.
Everyone's hands where I can see them!
Logan, get out of here.
What?
Myka, what the hell are you doing? What am I doing?
You've gone AWOL. You've stolen an artifact
and you won't tell anyone what's going on.
What am I supposed to think?
Mrs. Frederic can explain it.
Mrs. Frederic is missing.
Valda is calling the shots and he thinks you had something to do with it.
Myka, Valda is the guy I'm after.
If Mrs. Frederic is missing,
then he either has her or she is dead.
Look, all I know is I have my orders.
Don't make me do this the hard way, Pete.
Come on!
Pete, do not get in that car!
Pete, please. Hands on the wheel.
Hey, Myka, Myka, put the gun away and we'll talk, okay?
You have no idea what Valda is capable of!
Pete, just come with me and we'll sort this out, okay?
Lattimer, get in the car!
Logan, please, I'm just trying to keep you alive, okay?
Take the shot. Take the shot.
No!
Oh, my God, Kate!
Pete!
Wait, excuse me, ma'am, ma'am...
It's all right.
Kate, Pete's in trouble.
Pete's stuck in some sort of paranoid delusion.
The way that he ran, the note.
He thinks that someone is out to get him.
We don't have any of the details yet,
but we think that he was affected by, um,
something during a mission.
Right, your secret missions. Why come to me?
Well, one, he called you, so whatever's going on in his head,
you must be a part of it. And...
Two, well,
he's back on your turf.
We pulled this off a Chicago city surveillance cam.
Yeah... What is he doing?
I think he thinks that he's kissing you.
Uh-huh. But it could be you, though.
It's highly doubtful. My money's on you.
Um...
He left you a message? Yeah, it was weird.
Here.
So why is he fixated on Valda?
I think his mind is scrambling to gather details from his life.
It's the way you do when you're dreaming.
He's constructing some kind of fantasy with Valda and Malone, the walking stick.
Well, could this walking stick have caused it?
Didn't affect Malone. No, I think whatever this is, it started in that museum...
Did Pete touch anything while you were there?
Artie, it's Pete. It would be easier to list the things that he didn't touch.
Okay, show me.
Okay, he played with, um, some of these billiard balls.
Myka, Myka, what else, what else?
Then he played with these glasses
and this pipe.
Why did you let him touch all those things?
Well, what am I, his kindergarten teacher?
Plus, we didn't know there'd be two artifacts in the same place.
Myka, it's a museum!
It is filled with things from historical events.
Anything there could be an artifact.
You cannot let him touch anything.
Artie, it's Pete, okay? It's a win when he doesn't lick anything.
Yes, what else? All right, fine.
All right, he put this thing
in his ear.
It's a good way to get an infection if you ask me, but...
Then he, oh, he clicked this telegraph.
Then... Oh, right. Then he...
Wait, wait, wait. What?
Telegraph. Go back, go back. Show me the telegraph.
Here you go. It's military, 1860s, Telegraph Island, Oman.
Telegraph Island... Oman... Wait, wait, wait a minute.
That's familiar, hang on.
Myka, wait, wait one second. All right, Telegraph Island.
A remote outpost between England and India in the mid-1800s.
Reported that every...
Every soldier posted there went violently insane.
Well, that... It sounds artifacty, right?
You think?
And, no, wait.
It hasn't affected anyone since.
Well, is this it or not?
Only one way to find out.
Pete, it's Myka. Just tell me that you can hear me.
Yeah, yeah I can hear you.
I just don't know what to say to you.
I keep telling myself it wasn't our fault.
I couldn't say anything to you because I was trying to protect you.
I'm here, Pete. I'm safe.
Got Katie killed.
What? No, no, Pete. Kate's, Kate's alive. Okay?
I just left her.
Pete, you've been affected by an artifact.
A telegraph. I think you're hallucinating.
Valda's filled your head with lies.
But I'm about to fix all that.
So you and Leena, and Artie, Claudia,
you guys will all be safe.
Pete, no, okay? Don't do whatever it is you're about to do. Okay?
Um...
You might feel something strange.
Anything?
I've been listening, Peter.
Valda? Pete, did you hear what I just said?
Where's Myka?
Now you've compromised the others.
Do you realize what I'll have to do?
Valda, I'll trade you Malone for Mrs. Frederic.
I don't know how to reach you.
You meet me at the Kemper recycling yard.
Hey, boss.
There's no effect. He's still inside of whatever's going on.
At least now we know where he's going.
And I think I have just the thing to restore Pete's neural rhythm.
Agent Lattimer! I understand you want to speak with me!
What in God's name? Shut up.
I've heard enough of your voice to last a lifetime.
I don't know what this is all about, Agent Lattimer.
But you have my attention. Right?
You recognize this?
It appears to be the artifact that you were after, walking stick.
It appears to be the...
the artifact you're after. Shut up!
We're all alone out here, Valda!
Quit playing the game.
I got the stick, I got Malone and I got you.
Now, what did you do with Mrs. Frederic?
Mrs. Frederic? Look,
I want to help you, but none of this could be possible...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Myka tried that line on me.
She was a good little soldier.
She fed me your garbage about a telegraph that's making me see things.
Telegraph.
Time is running out, Benedict.
Which telegraph?
What do you remember? Is there anything unusual about it?
Think!
Will you stop trying to confuse me!
I'm not confusing you.
You see clearly. Try to remember.
I said shut up!
Pete?
Agent Bering!
Be careful. Myka!
Look, this is going to sound kind of freaky,
but are you guys really here? Because...
Valda's been messing with my head and I don't know what's real anymore.
Yeah, we're really here, okay?
Pete? And we're going to help you get out of this.
They're here, Peter.
Almost ready.
You really think I'd come here without backup?
Myka, you and Artie got to get out of here.
He's got... He's got snipers all over the place!
Die!
Where is Mrs. Frederic?
Artie? Agent Nielsen!
I am aware of the urgency!
I've got something that will reset his neural rhythm.
The original studio master of Oye Como Va.
Music to die by, eh, Peter?
You stop it! You stop! Stop!
Okay, listen to me, Pete, I really need you to not do that again, okay?
The irony is Myka's going to kill you for me.
She has to protect the Regent and then I'll kill them before your body's even cold.
This music is just not getting through.
He's still listening to that telegraph.
Myka, he wants to kill us all.
You and Artie, just get out of here.
Agent Nielsen! Yeah, I'm working on it.
Back off. You hear me?
You back off or I'll kill him!
I've got to find something that could...
I've got it.
Okay, Pete, I'm going to come over there
and you're going to give me your gun, okay?
Here it comes, Peter.
Pete?
Pete!
I hope the oral and visual combination shocked him back to reality
and didn't turn him into, uh...
Ow! My eye's already open, Artie. Jeez.
Hey. Are you okay?
I have no freaking idea.
Well improvised, Agent Nielsen.
Yes, there is a madness to the method.
Agent Nielsen.
Yes?
Oh, yeah, of course.
What happened?
It's a long story.
Oh, God.
Are you here to kill me?
If I was, you'd already be dead and I'd be halfway to dinner.
Yeah, you know it's just because I shot at a Regent...
Mr. Valda, though unhappy, understands the circumstances.
Yeah, well,
I'm not sure I understand the circumstances.
The telegraph seems to have tapped into some subliminal anxiety.
Not surprising, given what you've all been through of late.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I just wanted to make sure you were real.
Take some time off, Agent Lattimer.
Yes, ma'am. I'm just gonna finish up these reports
and you know what's funny? We...
How does she do that?
I'll be at the Warehouse. Oh, Artie,
I understand the need for that contingency file,
so if you ever have to take me out...
This is how you want to die?
Yeah.
Well,
I do know how to reach David Bowie.
Yes! You rock!
Oh, Pete, there's an envelope on the table for you.
Kate Logan. Ooh.
Are you going to call her?
Nah, I don't think so.
Well, why not? I mean you must have some feelings for her.
She was, after all, in your fantasy.
Ah, well, thank you, Dr. Freud.
Open it! Open it.
"Hope you're better.
"Myka forgot this. What?
"Thought you'd want it."
Oh, God. What?
Just don't play that. I mean, you're not interested in her anyways. Right?
So you can't...
What? What? What? I'm not. Pete, just, you're gonna...
Unless she is.
Oh, God. You're going to be embarrassed.
Pete, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so...
Hey, hey, hey, even by myself I still got moves.
Oh! Oh!
Yes, yes, yes!
You know they called me Gene Simmons in high school.
Don't stop!
You're insane.